This is toddler!Anna Blake.  She’s an Excitable Virtuoso, and she loves Irish Green, Latin music, and sushi.  Pretty advanced tastes for a four year old.

With her only child now a toddler, and Kingston creaming himself over the idea of having a boy, Paige finds herself once again ‘suspiciously nauseous’.

With Paige permanently on maternity leave, Kingston has become the sole breadwinner in their family – unless you count the paid time off Paige gets.

Perhaps realizing that her son is consistently rolling wants to punch her in the face, Megan makes it a mission to befriend him, and starts to help him with homework.  Liam remains a cutey.

With Julian happily married to his sister-in-law Penny, and living in her one-bedroom with her brother Wesley, Megan feels it’s safe to let Seb take a father role in Liam’s life.

Naturally, this creates the need for her to explain how Seb’s choice of career (I think he’s currently an Accomplice) is a bad thing, and her career (currently Lieutenant) is an awesome thing.

“If you end up like Seb, you’ll get ARRESTED. ARRRRRRRGGGGH.”

It’s a montaaaaaaaaaaaaage.

A pregnancy montaaaaaaage.

Just show it all or it will take too long.

It’s called a montaaaage.

A pregnancy montaaaaaage.

As it turns out, Paige was carrying twins!  Twin girls to be exact.  And I don’t appear to have any pictures of them as babies.  That’s okay, because all babies look exactly the same.  They’ll be toddlers in a couple of pictures anyway, so I’ll save the summaries for then.

This is child!Anna.  She aged with Brave locked in.  She looks like a bitch, doesn’t she?  Guh, she’s going to give them trouble.

This is teenage Liam.  I guess it’s pretty obvious now who his father is.  Let me just show you a picture of Seb in case you forgot what he looks like.

After he ages up, Megan takes that as pretty solid evidence that Sebastian is Liam’s father.  The three of them move out together, without having anywhere to live.  Later, I got the notification that they’d moved in with Megan’s elderly uncle Ben and his family of six.  They live in a one bedroom, for the record.

These two lovely young ladies are Danielle (top) and Sherry (bottom).  Danielle likes grey, indie music, and pancakes, and she’s brave and neurotic.  Sherry likes the colour lime, Latin music, and French toast.  She was born with Loner locked in, and I rolled clumsy for her.  My bad.

Poor Kingston still wants a boy.  =(

Oh, this is so exciting!  Lilian and Dick have moved back to town, with twin girls, who are only a couple of days younger than Paige and Kingston’s girls.  Yaaaaay.

Oh, lookit that.  Paige is back into her second trimester dress.  I guess Kingston got sick of being surrounded by estrogen and decided to try for a boy again.

Meanwhile, Wesley Porter has become an elder, and remains a bachelor while living with his sister and brother-in-law.  I took the liberty of using their copious amounts of money (must be the result of Wesley’s frugal trait) to expand their house.

Julian’s wife, Penny.  She’s pretty, huh? :3

Wesley adopted a baby boy and named him Dorian.  Aww.

OSHT.  Is that a blue blanket?  Hooraaaaay.  \o/

I don’t have a picture of it, but it was actually two blue blankets.  Paige birthed their second set of twins, both boys, named Reede and Levi.

Simultaneously, Anna has a birthday!

Teen!Anna looks even more like a bitch.  She’s gonna be a total maneater, I’m sure.  She also gained the Kleptomaniac trait.  I’ve always wanted one of those – I’m looking forward to the presents it gets me.

Three days later, it’s birthday time again.  If I actually had parties for these sorts of things, I’d be exhausted.

Sherry has gained the Unlucky trait.  Oops.  Sorry about that.

Danielle now loves the outdoors.

Reede is blonde, like Mommy and Sherry!

Levi is brunette, like Daddy, Anna, and Danielle.

OKAY.  Now that all that’s out of the way, let’s hope something interesting happens next chapter.  Maybe we’ll figure out an heir?  I don’t have a favourite yet.  I do like Anna, but I also like little blonde Reede.  Look at his eyes!  AW.  

Hello, and welcome to the Weber Uglacy.  I’d like you all to meet our founder, Boyd.

He’s a natural cook, heavy-sleeping mooch, who’s a computer whiz and sits on the couch all day.  His lifetime want is to see the ghost of a wealthy spouse.  He loves Latin music, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and the colour red.  I will be attempting to breed him with the most unattractive Sims I can, much to his great chagrin.

Boyd lives here, in this little mushroom house that I built him because I’m effing awesome.

After a few hours of watching TV post-move in, I decide Boyd needs to get off his lazy ass and get out to meet some people.  We can’t build an Uglacy sitting around watching… this amazing-looking show.

“But the moustache…  I don’t want to leave it!  I want to see how it ends!”

The first person he meets is Mr. Jared Trice.  Boyd, being a bit of a creeper, delves right into very personal conversation with him.

“Hey, weren’t you the guy taking pictures of my wife last night?”

“Haha, Absolutely!  She’s really hot!  Haha!”

Over at city hall, a rally is going on.  I hastily send Boyd over to investigate.

Go go!  Protesters aren’t generally attractive!

“That’s why I don’t want to go.  T__T ”

Eugh!  Quick, Boyd!  Get in there!

“Screw that, man.  Ugly chicks are lame.  nomnomnom”

What the hell?  Where did he get the cereal?

Oooh, how about her?

“Come on, Andie.  You know my policy on fatties.”

What’s that?

“No fatties!”

v___v  Boyd.  You’re kind of a dick.

In an attempt to at least get him started on fulfilling his lifetime goal, I had Boyd invite Cornelia Goth over to his little mushroom house.  I figured maybe she and Gunther were having troubles and Boyd could move in.

“Nice!  Gothy chicks are freaky in bed!”

Boyd approved.

“Hey, baby, what say you and me –”

“What the llama are you – get away from me.”

Sorry, Boyd.  No dice.

What about her sister Agnes?

“I dunno…  She looks kinda spazzy to me.  I don’t do high maintenance.”

“Maybe if I can feel her up…”

Oooh yeah.

  Boyd Weber likes this.

In what has to be Sunset Valley’s quickest whirlwind romance, Boyd and Agnes become steady, get engaged, and then get married within the course of approximately five hours.  If Agnes wasn’t a hopeless romantic, I’m sure she would have called him a freak and promptly dumped him.

“Oh, Boyd!  You’re so shocking and dreamy.”

“I know, right?”

“I especially love your chinstrap.”

There’s only one problem with this pairing: Agnes isn’t exactly ugly.  She’s not Uglacy material.  That poses a bit of an issue.

“Not for me!”

Shut up, Boyd.

I forgot to mention that Boyd has taken a job in the Journalism career track.  He gets promoted at… well, I’d say a medium pace, but that’s just because I occasionally set him to Work Hard.

“That’s because you’re a giant bitc-”

Watch it, buddy.  I control your WooHoo habits.

Since Agnes is rich, she’s a target for robbers.  This is the second one since the marriage (the other was Twyla Summers, that traitorous tart).

“Come on, alarm, wtffffffff?  Why you gotta play me that way?”

I love how shocked this guy seems.

“EUGH.  Who’s THIS ugly freak?”

That’s Lisa Bunch.

“Why do I care?”

Well, you remember back in college how you were a little strapped for cash?

“Yeah, and I donated some sperm?  I got paid really well for that.  Why, what’s the – oh.  Oh.”

"That’s right, Boyd.  You’re a father.”

Meet Ada.  LOL.

“This isn’t funny.”

Yes it is.

“Boyd, honey…”

“Agnes, you know I can’t take you seriously when you wear that hat.”

“I know, snookums, but there’s something I need to tell you.”

“OHEMGEE.  Are you pregnant?”

They’ve been trying to conceive for almost a week.

“No, that’s just it.  I don’t think I can get pregnant.”

“… Wah?”

Uh oh, Boyd.  That’s some fix you’re in, given that this is a legacy and all.

“No, wait!  I have an idea!”

(That’s his thoughtful expression.  It doesn’t happen often.)

“YOINK.”

Boyd had Lisa move in with them, and bring little Ada.  Ada’s last name was immediately changed to Weber.

Lisa immediately started rummaging through the trash.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all… 

There’s now a new man in Lilian’s life. His name is Liam Kennedy.

I should have realized that, since Lilian is family-oriented and has no life, she’d immediately start creeping on the first baby to join the family. At least somebody’s paying attention to him; Megan’s a horrible mother, Seb’s weirded out by the idea of him (except when he’s stealing candy from him), and Julian’s just generally ignorant about the whole situation.

After a couple of days of Lilian trying to steal the baby, I sent her out to find her a boyfriend.

The first house she approaches looks promising. It’s a one bedroom with four people living in it. Let’s see who she finds!

This charming young fellow is Dick Kennedy-Porter, Paige and Megan’s cousin! He lives with his father, older brother, Wesley, and younger sister, Penny. I don’t remember any of his traits. =D If I had to guess, I’d say natural cook was one of them. *pokes*

I think these two are going to get along splendidly.

UH OH! Kingston’s turned into a floating head.

"Where is my body, Adaptation?! >=|"

Yeah, sorry about that, bud. I was testing a new mod, trying to pollinate Paige, and… well…

"I’m PREGNANT?"

Fraid so. My story now contains MPREG. My bad. If I could figure out how to abort, I’d be all over it.

Paige and Julian seem to be flirting a lot – much to Seb’s great irritation. Where’s Megan, anyway? I thought Sims on mat leave were supposed to loiter around the house all the time.

"JULIAN GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER WHAT THE F-"

Oh, there she is.

"I wasn’t doing anything, I swear!"

"Yes, he was. *shoots aliens*"

"SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH PAIGE."

"DON’T TALK TO MY SISTER LIKE THAT HULKSMASHARRRRRRRRG"

Yeah, they aren’t together anymore. Julian thought it would be best to move. So he now lives with his brother Jared, and pregnant sister-in-law, Viccy. (For the record, she later gave birth to a son, whom they named Kip.)

"Why isn’t anyone paying attention to meeeeeeeeee?"

Everyone was so busy squabbling that nobody noticed when Liam aged up. He’s cute, but he looks whiny, doesn’t he?

"Are you my daddy?"

"I dunno, but if I am, you better not be a pussy."

Kingston gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Anna. Isn’t she cute? I can’t remember her traits. One of them is Virtuoso. The other might be Exciteable, like her mom.

Megan continues to be a horrible mother who’d rather work out and catch bad guys than play with her son. Seb’s evil, and Julian moved out, so Liam pretty much raises himself.

Speaking of moving out, Lilian went to go live with her steady boyfriend Dick’s family, in their little one bedroom house. Thirty seconds later, she and Dick bought their own place. Ten seconds after that, they were married and she was Lilian Porter. I tried to find their new house, but they must have moved out of town. Bitches! Paige was very upset about it when Lilian came over to meet Anna.

"Birthday? She’s like a foot long. I ain’t throwin’ no party."

Oh, but Kingston did. The whole town was invited –

- including Andie and Hayden Miller –

- and their son Alexander, who spent the whole night chatting up Kingston.

PS, about a week after this, Andie gave birth to another son. The game tried to name him Jody, but I was so goddamn offended that I changed it to Cameron. Sue me. >__>

Lilian and Dick also came.

Shortly after the party, I get a notification that Julian has started dating Penny Porter, a latrine cleaner.

Oh wait, Penny KENNEDY-Porter? As in, Paige’s other cousin? Dick’s sister? Lilian’s sister-in-law? Therefore, JULIAN’s sister-in-law?

Weird. Even weirder is the fact that she’s a never nude snob.

I actually really like this SimShip now. It seems interesting.

On the day of her wedding, Paige starts a horrible fire, which the computer repair technician puts out. Full service job, huh?

Thankfully nothing else goes amiss. Lots of guests arrived, including a bunch they didn’t invite (looking at you, Jamie Jolina!)

By the way, the blonde guy with the chin strap is Paige’s uncle Ben. The day after the wedding, I got a notification that his wife Jade had given birth to their fourth child, a daughter named Diana. Cute.

The rings are exchanged, and Paige Kennedy has officially become Paige Blake! \o/

Megan is very excited.

Liam is a total nerd. Sorry Seb or Julian! I should have known – he got the frugal trait when he became a child.

After their wedding, Paige and Kingston, so exhausted from the festivities, retired to bed without WooHooing.

For once.

PS This is the updated comparison shot for child!Liam’s prospective fathers:

Sebastian seems to have won out in the Fight for Megan’s Mouth. He and Megan are eagerly snogging away while Lilian sets the barbeque on fire.

It takes them exactly thirty seconds to move their fun and games into the bedroom. They aren’t even dating, Sebastian’s just horny, and Megan’s an easy target. That poor girl. He’s wily. He’s taking advantage of their history. How dare he! (I don’t think she minds, though.)

Poor, unsuspecting Julian is innocently playing video games downstairs while his off-and-on romantic interest is in bed with his best friend. The scandal!

He finally notices when Megan and Sebastian come downstairs in their underwear, tousled from sex. Megan is immediately apologetic, much to his relief.

In fact, she’s very apologetic.

Oh. Megan.

"I never meant to hurt your feelings, Julian. Sebastian’s just so… blond!"

Oops. Seb noticed the apologies running rampant in his very expensive house. His best friend and his… Megan!

"What the hell are you doing? What’s the matter with you?!"

"Seb, I didn’t mean to!"

"What, you just fell on his face?!"

In his rage, he hits her. HE EFFING HITS HER. LIKE TWELVE TIMES.

SLAPSLAPSLAP. Right across the face. And she’s still warm from his lovinz!

Traumatized, beaten, and gooey in unfortunate places, Megan runs to Julian for comfort.

He comforts her…

… and comforts her.

Meanwhile, oblivious to all the drama occuring in her home, Lilian chats up the male maid.

"This is how you Walk Like an Egyptian!"

Paige and Kingston are off in their own little world.

"I SAW A MOUSE AND IT WAS SCARY!"

D:

All seems quiet for a few days. The drama seems to die down. Megan and Julian even start dating – all official-like, much to Seb’s GREAT irritation.

And then it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

Uh oh.

Maybe it’s just the flu?

Or maybe not.

After the news breaks, things get increasingly awkward between our love triangle. (Love square if you include Lilian, who’s pretty much always following Seb around with puppydog eyes.)

"So I’m pregnant."

"So… who’s the father? Me or Julian?"

"Yeah… about that…"

"You don’t know?!"

"Shut up, you’re EVIL!"

Julian doesn’t take the uncertainty of paternity well. He and Seb duke it out in the bedroom. They were best friends for years, and now they can’t stand to be in the same room with each other. All because neither of them could keep it in their pants.

"If this baby’s yours, I swear to llama -" *facesmash*

"Like I want to father Megan’s devilchild!"

"DON’T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT ARRRRGH"

At least Megan can carry on normally. She might be on maternity leave, but that’s no reason to let herself get out of shape! She’s a traffic cop, damn it! She needs to be in peak physical condition, baby or no.

Things are still awful between Seb and Megan. You could cut the tension with a knife. The first time he shows any interest in the baby at all and tries to talk to her tummy, she won’t let him near her. That’s probably because they’re so far into the red that the option to make Seb her nemesis is now available under the Mean options.

"But Megan, what if it’s mi-"

"Get away from me, you woman beater!"

"If you don’t stop eyeing my waffles, Preggo, I’m gonna detail to you how bendy your little sist-"

"EW STOP."

If only one good thing has come from all this drama, it’s that Paige and Kingston are spending a load more time together, and getting along a lot better, because Megan’s no longer flirting with Kingston, and Paige has stopped hitting on Seb.

"EAT DIRT, MAGGOT."

"YOU’RE GOING DOWN, BLONDIE."

In fact, things are going so well that Kingston pops the question! (Again).

Hang on. Where’s Megan going?

HOSHT. Paige said yes!

And Megan had a baby!

Note the distinct absence of both Seb and Julian. Jerks.

So this is baby Liam Kennedy. He’s artistic and good, and loves the colour seafoam, Latin music, and autumn salad.

Who do YOU think his father is?

Find out NEXT TIME (maybe) on the P. Kennedy Legacy.

This happy couple is Paige Kennedy, and her on-and-off boyfriend, Kingston Blake. As you can see, they’re currently On. On eachother. In their underwear. Constantly. Much to the chagrin of their four roommates.

Paige is an excitable, flirty computer whiz, who’s friendly and lucky. She loves spiceberry, indie music, and pancakes, and dreams of being a star news anchor. Kingston is a charismatic, family-oriented flirt, who’s a great kisser and is handy around the house. He loves electronica, cheese steak, and the colour black, and wants a huuge family.

"We’re busy, come back laterrrrmmmmmmmphh."

Err…

They live with Sebastian Montague, one of Kingston’s best friends. Sebastian is ambitious, evil, flirty, and a great-kissing party animal who wants to be the Emperor of Evil when he grows up. He loves indie music, PB&J, and the colour aqua. He’s also filthy rich, which is why he has a load of his moochy friends living with him. Additionally, he appears to be a bit of an alcoholic. He’s always drinking.

"Don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me."

Quiet, Seb. Go back to your booze.

Sebastian also lives with Lilian.

She’s clumsy, family-oriented, flirty, and over-emotional. She sleeps heavily, loves kids’ music, the colour red, and goopy carbonara. She dreams of having a big family. Paige is her BEST FRIEND EVER. They’re like two peas in a pod of WIN.

Lilian and Seb don’t get along. I think it’s because he calls her a fat cow all the time.

"I’M NOT FAT, I’M BIG-BONED!"

We know, Lils. We know.

Lilian’s brother is Julian, although she was adopted. His lifetime goal is to marry a rich woman so that he can have all her money when she dies. He’s a flirty couch potato, who’s a heavy sleeper, and an inappropriate slob. He loves indie music, spaghetti, and the colour red. Julian, Seb, and Kingston have been best friends since grade school.

Next to him is Paige’s big sister, Megan. She wants to become an international super spy, and she’s athletic, brave, flirty, and hot-headed, but she’s still a great kisser. She loves red, cheese steak, and custom music.

They’ve all just moved into Seb’s new place, so they’re all pretty beat from unpacking. After a night of video games, they head to bed. Tomorrow promises to be a great day.

"JUST… LET ME HIT… ONE MORE… PEDESTRIAN."

That’s enough with the video games, Paige. Your boytoy awaits.

Megan’s the only one who isn’t totally exhausted, so she takes advantage of the alone time and works out. I choose to believe she prefers Jillian Michaels. That’s 30 Day Shred going right there.

"Come on, girls, that body won’t tone itself! Three more!"

The next morning, Kingston makes them all mac & cheese before work. He and Megan are the first to partake, since they have to be at work earliest.

"Hey, Megan. Guess what I did with your sister last night."

"I could kill you with my bare hands."

Rather than enjoy the macaroni, Seb decides to enjoy breakfast at Central Park. Unfortunately, he’s too sheltered to know how to cook.

"Are they supposed to do this?"

Poor, unfortunate boy. Maybe if he’s lucky, he’ll meet some sexy ladies here, since Paige is off the market, and he and Megan had a thing way back in the day. They were just reckless kids then, and they both know better than to go down that road again.

Unfortunately, there are no ladies to be found, so he decides to pass the time by making fun of the locals.

"HAHA, good GOD you’re fat."

What a dick.

Eventually, he gives up and hires a maid. He’s heard things about maids, you see.

"You like French things, you say? I can speak a little French. Ménage à trois, anyone?"

That evening, the whole crew (minus Lilian, who’s working at the day spa) decide to tour the town and find some random door to knock on. They end up invited into the Miller household, where a young woman named Andie is tending to her two kids.

"My husband, Hayden, is at work right now. He’s really hot."

"What a coincidence! My boyfriend is also hot! Say, you look shockingly like my aunt! What did you say your name was, again?"

In a bizarre twist of Simfate, Megan "I eat babies" Kennedy spends most of the night coddling Andie’s newborn son, Alexander. Even Seb is shocked.

"What the hell is that thing?"

Hayden returns from work to find five complete strangers harassing his wife and family, and protectively takes up his daughter, Alena.

"Don’t worry, princess. I won’t let the blond one get you."

Eventually, it becomes time to leave, but before they’ve even left the property, Kingston, influenced by all the babies, spontaneously pops the question to Paige! Julian creeps expertly in the background.

"I know half the time we aren’t even together, but babies are really cute. Paige Kennedy, will you marry me?"

Sorry, man. No dice.

Julian was very disappointed. I promise Kingston didn’t take it that hard, though. They were making out again ten seconds later.

In all the excitement, I completely forgot that I’d left my three most flirty sims unattended. When I clicked back to Julian, he had the moodlets for both Great Kiss and First Kiss shining in his stupid little box.

Oh, god.

Filling with trepidation, I checked out Megan’s. Sure enough, she had the same ones. I should have known this would happen when he climbed into bed with her the night before. Friendly nap my ass.

She seems to have offended him, though. It couldn’t have been a crappy kiss, or she’d be missing that moodlet.

Oh, wait. I see what it is.

Sebastian seems to have rolled the want to Kiss Megan.

*headdesk*

Damn it, Seb. You’ve already been down that road once! What is the matter with you?!

I sense love triangle drama brewing in Seb’s house. Stay tuned to find out if anyone loses an eye, next time on the P. Kennedy Legacy!