The Weber Uglacy, Chapter One: Meet the Founders

 

Hello, and welcome to the Weber Uglacy.  I’d like you all to meet our founder, Boyd.

He’s a natural cook, heavy-sleeping mooch, who’s a computer whiz and sits on the couch all day.  His lifetime want is to see the ghost of a wealthy spouse.  He loves Latin music, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and the colour red.  I will be attempting to breed him with the most unattractive Sims I can, much to his great chagrin.

 

Boyd lives here, in this little mushroom house that I built him because I’m effing awesome.

After a few hours of watching TV post-move in, I decide Boyd needs to get off his lazy ass and get out to meet some people.  We can’t build an Uglacy sitting around watching… this amazing-looking show.

“But the moustache…  I don’t want to leave it!  I want to see how it ends!”

The first person he meets is Mr. Jared Trice.  Boyd, being a bit of a creeper, delves right into very personal conversation with him.

“Hey, weren’t you the guy taking pictures of my wife last night?”

“Haha, Absolutely!  She’s really hot!  Haha!”

 

Over at city hall, a rally is going on.  I hastily send Boyd over to investigate.

Go go!  Protesters aren’t generally attractive!

“That’s why I don’t want to go.  T__T ”

Eugh!  Quick, Boyd!  Get in there!

“Screw that, man.  Ugly chicks are lame.  nomnomnom”

What the hell?  Where did he get the cereal?

  

Oooh, how about her?

“Come on, Andie.  You know my policy on fatties.”

What’s that?

“No fatties!”

v___v  Boyd.  You’re kind of a dick.

In an attempt to at least get him started on fulfilling his lifetime goal, I had Boyd invite Cornelia Goth over to his little mushroom house.  I figured maybe she and Gunther were having troubles and Boyd could move in.

“Nice!  Gothy chicks are freaky in bed!”

Boyd approved.

 

“Hey, baby, what say you and me –”

“What the llama are you – get away from me.”

Sorry, Boyd.  No dice.

 

What about her sister Agnes?

“I dunno…  She looks kinda spazzy to me.  I don’t do high maintenance.”

“Maybe if I can feel her up…”

 

Oooh yeah.

  Boyd Weber likes this.

 

 

In what has to be Sunset Valley’s quickest whirlwind romance, Boyd and Agnes become steady, get engaged, and then get married within the course of approximately five hours.  If Agnes wasn’t a hopeless romantic, I’m sure she would have called him a freak and promptly dumped him.

“Oh, Boyd!  You’re so shocking and dreamy.”

“I know, right?”

“I especially love your chinstrap.”

There’s only one problem with this pairing: Agnes isn’t exactly ugly.  She’s not Uglacy material.  That poses a bit of an issue.

“Not for me!”

Shut up, Boyd.

 

I forgot to mention that Boyd has taken a job in the Journalism career track.  He gets promoted at… well, I’d say a medium pace, but that’s just because I occasionally set him to Work Hard.

“That’s because you’re a giant bitc-”

Watch it, buddy.  I control your WooHoo habits.

Since Agnes is rich, she’s a target for robbers.  This is the second one since the marriage (the other was Twyla Summers, that traitorous tart).

“Come on, alarm, wtffffffff?  Why you gotta play me that way?”

I love how shocked this guy seems.

“EUGH.  Who’s THIS ugly freak?”

That’s Lisa Bunch.

“Why do I care?”

Well, you remember back in college how you were a little strapped for cash?

“Yeah, and I donated some sperm?  I got paid really well for that.  Why, what’s the – oh.  Oh.”

"That’s right, Boyd.  You’re a father.”

Meet Ada.  LOL.

“This isn’t funny.”

Yes it is.

“Boyd, honey…”

“Agnes, you know I can’t take you seriously when you wear that hat.”

“I know, snookums, but there’s something I need to tell you.”

“OHEMGEE.  Are you pregnant?”

They’ve been trying to conceive for almost a week.

“No, that’s just it.  I don’t think I can get pregnant.”

“… Wah?”

Uh oh, Boyd.  That’s some fix you’re in, given that this is a legacy and all.

“No, wait!  I have an idea!”

(That’s his thoughtful expression.  It doesn’t happen often.)

“YOINK.”

Boyd had Lisa move in with them, and bring little Ada.  Ada’s last name was immediately changed to Weber.

Lisa immediately started rummaging through the trash.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all…